Ah yes. Nothing like the day after Thanksgiving or the weekend after for that matter to make one feel like a candidate for The Biggest Loser. Of course, I would never get on that show because I don't have a compelling story nor do I look like under all that fat is hidden a possible hottie like a Brad Pitt or Rachel McAdams just dying to break free if only you'd stop shoving crap down your throat.

I'm about to leave on vacation soon and I'm supposed to meet up with friends and a big gathering of people who've become friends at one of the internet forums I'm a member of. And wouldn't you know it?? I just don't feel like going because I was SUPPOSED to have lost at least fifty pounds before the damn meet. Instead, I have remained at the same stupid weight and perhaps gained a few more pounds. That's right!! You heard me world!! I'm telling you now that I weigh 364 pounds!! Ugh!!

Looked at some pics of me from four years ago when I had a trainer and was deep in the whole dating looking for a man millieu. DAMN!! I looked hot!! So hot that I'd say I'd even fuck my thinner self!! Alas, a boyfriend came along and then I let go of the trainer and tried to keep up with my trainings by myself and then I let carbs and sugar and RICE back into the diet and the BOOM!!! Up 100 pounds!! I'd be laughing right now if it weren't so damn sad!!

And now I don't have a boyfriend, I'm a hundred pounds heavier, and I'm wearing a size 3X shirt. Sigh. Too depressing for words. Ooo!! Is there stufffing left in the fridge??

Wow!! Ryan Reynolds!! Who knew back in the '80s when I used to watch you on that Nickeolodeon kids soap opera Fifteen that you would turn out to be a big star and have a set of killer abs that you could grate parmesan cheese on?? Mmmm....parmesan cheese....mmmmmmm..........wait.....where was I? Oh, yeah. Killer abs. Anyway, I certainly hope that Alanis realizes what she's got. I read in "Men's Fitness Magazine" (also known as "We have killer bodies because we have trainers and you don't and what the fuck is your problem why don't you look like us??") that Ryan eats six meals a day. Funny. I kinda eat six meals a day. Although they're probably not the kind of meals that Ryan eats.